Thinking of what to say on your t-shirt or other clothing? Try one of these funny t-shirt phrases. Got more ideas? Share your humorous quote with us here.

Make Up Sex: It’s Worth Fighting For

High School (Remember when wearing “College” shirts was clever?)

Sex – Do it for the kids

Everybody Loves Ramen

Without ME, it’s just AWESO

Don’t drink or drive

My girlfriend told me to be more affectionate…so I’ve two more girlfriends now…

Why these kids are looking at me, I’m not their DAD.

If you are RICH… I am SINGLE

Always remember you’re unique… Just like everyone else.

I don’t have a license to kill. I have a learner’s permit.

Out of my mind… Back in five minutes.

SHIFT HAPPENS

Does This Shirt Make Me Look Frat?

Jersey Girls Aint Trash (trash gets picked up)

Camping is In-tents

Me So Horny (with a picture of an animal with a horn)

Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.

Life’s not a garden, so stop being a hoe!

Copy from one, it’s plagiarism; copy from many, it’s research.

Alcohol and calculus don’t mix. Never drink and derive.

I’m sorry My fault I forgot you were an idiot.

“How Long a Minute Is Depends on Which Side of the Bathroom Door You’re On”

“I Know About Stressed – It’s Desserts Spelled Backwards”

“I can please only one person per day,
Today is not your day,
Tomorrow Doesn’t look good either”

“I know i am not
PERFECT
but I’m
SO CLOSE
it scares me”

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Seen it all, Done it all, Cant remember most of it !

Here I am! What are your other two wishes?

If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.

The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.

I am modest and i am proud of it.

Nobody is perfect.. I m nobody Big Laugh

Of all the things i’ve lost… i miss my mind the most.

99% of women are b’ful… & remaining 1% are in my college.

I have only 1 nerve left and you are getting on it.

Not all men are fools… some stay bachelors too.

Its unfair life… so many girls… so little time…

You’ll have this

Don`t Drink Before You`re 16

“I don’t need a man, I need a stimulus package”

Save the drama
for yo mama

Seriously stop starring

Want to have a t-shirt with these phrases? Customize one at Spreadshirt

“I love D1ck” – black tee shirt, and in bold white letters it had the letter “I”, then a red heart and the word D1ck

CAUTION: I’m hot

FBI – Female Body Inspector

Bite this!

You look like I need another drink!

Front: make 7
Back: up yours

Stop looking at my T-Shirt

Briney spears – I am a virgin but this is a old t shirt

These are real

If you can read this, you’re too close

My eyes are up there

My Drinking Team has a Hockey Problem

The world is going to hell and Im driving the bus

I’m an excellent housekeeper, every time i get a divorce i keep the house

Spreadshirt Designer

Fcuk U (french connection brand)

Why do we call it rush hour when no one barely moves?

If you cant fix it with ducktape then you havent used enough!

A picture of Winnie the Pooh dressed as a pimp with “***** better have my hunny” written below

A picture of scrappy doo laying on a table with a towel over his crotch and an asian woman with her hand under the towel with “scrappy ending” written below

A line on the bottom of a shirt that says “i’ve had it up to here with midgets”

Why kill them with kindness when you can use an axe?

My dad is my ATM

Touch me here if you dare

These are not fake

Sorry Girls.. I date only models!

I was born intelligent but EDUCATION ruined me!

If you need to order a t-shirt with one of these phrases, go to Spreadshirt. You can choose your clothing, modify your quotes, or even add images, logo or some other design with their interactive online t-shirt customizer.